Let It Begin
By Christin Farmer
Before I embarked on my path, I felt like I was existing and not living, and there’s a big difference between the two. I got up everyday to go to work, then left at the end of the day and went home. I always felt that there just had to be more to life but I didn’t know what that more was and where to begin. I enjoyed what I was doing because it allowed me to work with people within a specific community, but I still felt like I needed to do more and could do more. I think a lot of people would like to do more for their community but don’t know how or where to begin.
I was very afraid and anxious when I started Birthing Beautiful Communities. I kept thinking, “What am I doing?”, “I don’t know what I’m doing” “How is this going to work?!” “Will I be able to keep my current position and work on my dream at the same time?”, “Am I ready to be a true leader and face all that comes with that role and responsibility?” I had all kind of thoughts and doubts running through my head. I often stop today and ask myself “Am I really making a difference?” I risked my previous existence to do what I am living for today, and I am happy.
I had fiddled with my purpose for 12 years before I decided to just do it. In 2013, on my 28th birthday, I had a striking revelation. I was under a lot of emotional stress, and it was difficult for me, but when I arose from that challenge, I promised myself that I would listen, walk and not ask any questions, if my true path was shown to me, and that’s what I have been doing ever since. I decided to pursue my long held dream of working with pregnant women and babies, as a midwife. As life has it, I’ve tried to become a midwife 4 or 5 times. Every time I tried to pursue the practice, something got in the way. After the last attempt, I asked “What am I supposed to be doing?” The path of a doula opened up to me and I just ran with it, with no questions. It was put upon my heart to start a group, a collective of African American birth workers in Cleveland, but I couldn’t find any. Then, one by one we found each other and there is no other way to describe those encounters than as divine. Birthing Beautiful Communities was born. These women have given me so much purpose, that if for no one else, I keep pushing ahead for them. They love the work they do, and they should be able to do it with no strings attached, and just purely from the love in their hearts, as they do everyday.
My team and I were volunteers for a long time. I was always challenged with charging for our much needed services. It was a conflict of my soul. The physical world says you have to charge for your time, but the spiritual world would not allow me/us. The people have immediate needs, and everything that we need to make this happen will happen. I trusted that voice, and that’s exactly what happened and is currently happening. Other than that, challenges, difficulties and hardships are inevitable, the key is how you handle it. It may not be something that you want to deal with, but trust your spirit, wisdom and inner strengths. Those are attributes that no one can take from you, so use them to overcome any barriers.
I love the fact that I feel magical. I literally feel like as long as I am walking in the purpose, being a good, kind-hearted person that I will have all the love and support I’ll ever need. I love the people that are drawn to me, and the people whom I’m drawn to. It feels like magic. For me to think something, meditate on it, ask for it and watch it blossom is nothing short of magic. Most of all, I love myself. I love who I have become on this journey. I’m learning so much about myself. I’m learning my strengths, learning my limits and learning that I do not have to do everything by myself.
What makes me feel great about myself is knowing and feeling like I was chosen as a messenger, a vehicle to help heal my community. My brain goes straight to a bigger picture. My creativity almost always comes from seeing, feeling, and experiencing the conditions of the community. I understand that this purpose, this journey, this path is not about me. I love community development in the sense of the people being the community. I love to help people see the greatness within themselves and the neighborhoods. The purpose I was given is larger than anything we as humans can comprehend, and I feel amazing thinking that I was chosen to execute it.
People who are committed to their communities, who are doing the hard work and managing to stay optimistic inspire me. The doers inspire me. The people who make things happen. The people who are not afraid to stand up for what is right no matter what the worldly consequences are. Those are very brave people. People who are genuinely kind and a have a good heart. Those are people who inspire me.
To be a person of purpose certain qualities are really important:
Transparency, remembering that you too are a person with a story that someone needs to hear. Honesty, telling the truth no matter who may be offended.
Wisdom, learning from your experiences and others in order to create positive change.
Integrity, never allowing yourself to be dissuaded and sticking to your guns.
Realness, being a real person with real feelings and real life problems.
Imperfection, admiting when you made a mistake or you don’t know the answer.
Find who you are as an individual. Our souls speak to us but are we listening? Cut the distractions out of your life. End relationships that offer you no true spiritual nourishment, leave places/jobs that disturb your equilibrium, find balance. Get comfortable with being alone. It is not a bad concept. That’s when your spirit speaks. It needs your undivided attention. You don’t have to search for your soul’s purpose because it has already sought you. It’s waiting for you to clear the clutter so it can begin. Let it begin.
To learn more about Birthing Beautiful Communities please visit: http://www.birthingbeautiful.org/